jssnoopy

What is love?
im not sure but..
once you have it there is no cure
you cant go back
you see no one but her
shes the only thing that matters
but she doesnt see you
its a fog
your not in her sight
you never will be
but u still try and fight
but this only makes it hurt more
like salt in a open wound
but for all the sleepless nights
all the crying and tears
she will never think of you once
your forgoten
loves a disease
thats what love is

she deserves so much better ...
i was in the hall way ... all she wanted was another kiss
her bf flips out and is like " i already gave u ur fuckin kiss!"
she is awesome ..
i got to get to know her somehow

Oh yeah ,

If u hardley talk and when u do all u do is joke around , and u like two people , and u guys never hangout ..... u shouldnt be in a relation ship .... its not love its lust get it straight bitches

if u dont like what i think then fuck off this is my journal and u dont have to read my shit so like it or fuck off

people can be fucking assholes sometimes

i woke up and i have a feeling and the feeling is telling me "LIFE SUCKS"

why is when i try so fucking hard for something it never works
someone else doesnt even try at all and they get what i want
life sucks and i hate it and the pain will end when life stops to suck

I know when i say im depressed
Im always depressed about the same thing
I cant help that it hurts
Im not going to hide my feeling
The part that hurts isn't that were not together
The part that hurts is watching you with someone else
I get so depressed and weird too so quickly
I jus read her myspace comments and I read his
HAPPY FUCKIN 2 MOUNTHS! WOO HOO
I don't know I'm just having a hard time with this shit
I wish she could jus tell me what she felt
What she wants
I wish I was what she wants
But i dont know cause she doesnt know
I know she might see this but I dont care
This is how i feel and it won't stop untill I have her or...
I get over her and that seems like it will take a lifetime
Fuck now she saw my away message and I have to explain why it says what it says
Fuck I'm out

I only write about one thing in this journal
Because this one thing is what gives me hope
Hope that one day my dream will come true
I dream that one day i wake up and shes lay beside me
But everyday that goes by I feel like im farther away
I need to see her

If I do see her this weekend then it will be awesome
But knowing that she has someone else will really be killing me every moment im with her
She says that the "day" will come
But this waiting is making my insides tense

This weekend If u cant come to me then i will come to you

Theres something I want.
I want to love her
I want to just love her and know she loves me
This isnt like the same old bullshit ive been through before
she's different
shes special
but this is only a dream
and the anticipation is killing me inside
I just want to know if anything will ever happen
The answer lies in your hands

I think im going to be sick
my stomach hurts
its my nerves I think
Maybe my dreams will take me to a place that will make me feel better?

yo yo yo

I would like to thank all of my loyal and awesome readers. Its you guys that keep this journal rollin. I got this letter from John Shooter from Ohio and he has a question and Im going to help him out in this weeks..... " JEREMYS MOTHA FUCKIN COOL ASS BITCH ASS JOURNAL BITCH"

John wants to know what "LOVE" is and I'm here to help him out. Love is a word that means so much. Its amazing that one word can mean so many things. Love can be the best thing in the world... it also can be the things that kills your insides and makes u want wrap your self in aluminum foil and strap jumper cables to your nuts also. The good side of love is when your in love with someone that loves you just as much as you love them. The bad side is when your in love with someone u could never have or when some BITCH wants to dump you and doesnt give a shit about your feelings. Ive had expericences like that and a lot of friends have too. Thats why its so hard for me to do that to someone. Some people handle bad times like this differenly. Some people eat , some people kill people... lol ... This probable doesnt sound good but it makes me feel a lot better if i think of suicide... i mean i would never attempt... but it makes me feel better just to imagine everyones face when they see me hangin by the neck tied to some rafters in a barn. When im depressed thats how i get. Ussally i get depressed because of love.... I wish there was such a thing of a perfect someone....and brittany .... You dont even know how much i really think about you... When i say im going to live in a van in front of ur house im dead serious and dont be surprized when im there.... ( you better be single lmao)
well i think this answerd johns question.....

"Where are you going? Hell or Heaven ? did u walk with the sinners or pray with the revren? tell the truth .. did a lil a both i dont know where im really going untill my bodys a ghost. The whole worlds gonna hate me in the end when im surrounded by nothing but the fire, you can lie but your soakin in sin when u die let your karma begin from the begining to the end!"


When you read this dont think im a weird freak lmao
Im sure ur mind is a crazy place sometimes too lol

umm im feel weird cause I just got off the phone with her and it made me feel weird like ....I obviously miss her but I dont know i think it made me miss what we had even more. I feel weird though cause i have a girlfriend and i do like her and stuff and im deffinetly not gettin involved with a girl that lives 45 minutes away untill i can drive. I can get my permit in less than a year and thats cool....I know shes going to read this and I think she still cares I mean her boyfriends a complete dip shit and she deserves so much more. I dont know though like she must really like this guy if shes still with him after all this shit he DOESNT do. but o well im pretty sure that things will be what they used to be in the future... i just really miss her ... i saw her like 3 times in my life and thats so gay to have a relation ship with someone like that if u can only see them once on a weekend and not even that sometimes lol.... but yeah so thats why when i can drive... maybe if me and katy dont like fall in love or something lol we can start where we left off ... and I updated this for you cause since ur boyfriend doesnt do shit for u i figured i would do something then.

Ok so heres the story....

She cant get to the mall its like 12 o'clock ...Me and Joe are getting picked up 2:30 soo im starting to worry.

Now its 2:30 and she still cant get there, Im at the point where I'm about to give up in life and just sleep for a week staight and hide in a dark corner lol.

Joe tells me , "You still have one chance" Im like "Whats that?" ...and he tells me maybe his mom could pick her up.Si I still had some hope.

His Mom gets to the mall and she asks me where my girl is and im like all bummed out and tell her ... she couldn't make it ... she was like well at least i dont have to worry about takin her home...At this point my heart felt like someone stabed a knife threw it :)

Joe is like my brother from another mother soo I think he knew how much this meant to me and he knows how i get when I'm upset sooo because of him well hold on Ill get there in a minute.

So he begs his mom in the car seriously like for 30 minutes and finally she gives in and tells me to call her...So I call Her and guess what ...NO BODY IS HOME!!! Now this is like climing a mountain and right before you go to put that flag on top it blows away... I hope you get what im saying

So im like well this just wasnt meant to be... But then theres a phone call and its her ... I smiled ....Then she doesnt know what the 219 is and Im like well this isnt going to happen cause i wont know how to get there if she cant tell me.

Then this is where Joe kicks in... He calls her back and starts talkin to all these people about directions.... In the mean time Joes Mom is pissed off like really bad!

We end up passing are exit and were like O well its not going to happen ...(again) Then we see a Boston/Hamburg exit and Hamburg is to the right and Joes mom is like no its to the left so she goes the wrong way and that makes her even more pissed off and i feel horible because this is all for me.

We turn around and go the other way and finally get to sunoco gas station and his mom is on the verge of a nervous break down and joes annoying sister isnt helping any.

Joes talking to her and she is like I can get there I have a ride sooo Now im like holy shit how did this work... I give his mom gas money and we wait there and she comes and i saw her face and im like wow was this meant to be?

I wish my mom just stayed in hamburg .... I mean i live in the middle of no where and I wasn't made for this kind of life style ...I need action and people ....I love just going to downtown Buffalo and just talking to people ....When I turn 16 I'm just going to live in a truck , camper or a van and Ill finally be happy...I know my Mom and grandma know how much I wana move .... My Mom knows Ill be gone once I can .... I think it bothers her and she doesn't want to think about it. She's right though because I will be gone .... not far though well I think. I want to take a road trip ...Me and joe are planing to take one once we can drive....I hope these gas prices go down , Maybe once we elect a new president things will change , I hope they go down to like 1.10 , They were like 3.30 today.

I feel like a mouse in a mouse trap... I wake up and and there is nothing to do...ahhh You know what I'm going to just turn into a hobo...Ill run away and sleep in a box ... haha the funny thing is I would probably be happier.